Everyday Skills Your Child Needs
Parents: You may have never heard of executive function skills. But you should really become familiar with them as they are a very important set of skills your children use every day at school and in all parts of their lives. People are not born with these skills. It takes time and practice for anyone to develop executive function skills. The foundation for learning these skills is laid in infancy and develops quickly in children between the ages of three and five, with another phase of development during adolescent and early adult years.
How are executive function skills defined? According to the Harvard University Center on the Developing Child, they refer to a specific set of developmental skills to help manage everyday tasks. These skills underlie the capacity to plan ahead and meet goals, display self-control, follow multiple-step directions even when interrupted, and stay focused despite distractions, among many others. As a parent, you set the framework for your children to learn and practice these skills until they have the ability to perform them on their own.
Some occasions when executive function skills are used by your children include: starting their assignments in class without a reminder; studying ahead for tests, not speaking out unless called upon, paying attention in order to learn new things; remembering to bring their homework, books, and papers to and from school; keeping school materials organized; completing assignments and tests on time; finishing a project; and keeping emotions composed. At home, children can utilize these skills when handling tasks such as cleaning their rooms, cooking, and getting along with family members even when they are upset. In other words, executive function skills help children with their daily routines at home, school, and future events in their lives.
Children gradually acquire executive function skills through the framework parents have implemented or practiced, as well as their own experiences. Some things you may do to help promote these skills in your child begin in infancy by allowing age-appropriate toys and everyday items to play with and explore. As children get older, parents can also help by encouraging them to try new things and complete specific tasks. Furthermore, modeling and acknowledging good behavior is essential. Parents can provide additional support by talking with children about the steps of an activity, and providing opportunities for free, creative play and problem solving.
All children are likely to have weaknesses with certain executive function skills. Here is a brief questionnaire that will help you discover if your child is struggling with executive function skills, suggested by The Everything Parent’s Guide to Children with Executive Functioning Disorder.
Starting a Task
- Does your child find it difficult to initiate a task on his or her own?
- Does your child frequently say: “I don’t know where to begin.”
Time Management
- Does your child complain about running out of time on tests?
- Is your child unrealistic about how much time is needed for a test?
Working Memory
- Does your child frequently re-read material because they do not understand it the first time?
- Is mental math challenging for your child?
Flexibility
- Is adapting to new social situations a problem for your child?
- Does your child have the attitude of my way or the highway?
Self-Regulation
- Does your child only put effort into things he or she likes to do?
- Does your child need a lot of reminders to complete a task?
Organization
- Does your child frequently forget to bring essentials to or from school?
- Is your child’s desk at school or home disorganized?
Once you have learned if your child is truly struggling with certain areas of executive function, you can assist him or her in improving these areas. You may want to discuss any problems you observe with his or her teachers for their helpful suggestions.
Parents should send questions and comments to dearteacher@dearteacher.com. To learn more about helping children succeed in school, visit the Dear Teacher website.
©Compass Syndicate Corporation, 2025