Just a few years ago, my holiday seasons were limited to fancy holiday parties, a champagne-filled Yeti, and seemingly no real responsibility. On occasion, I would bring a homemade lasagna to my family gathering. Fast-forward a few years, and the holiday season is something entirely different for me.
I quickly traded the carefree wonder of the holidays for anxiety after the birth of my daughter. As a mom, I spend hours mulling over which holiday parties to attend. I know I will not be able to get a sitter for all the parties I am accustomed to attending. My champagne-filled Yeti has been replaced with princess sippy cups. I replaced my single lasagna pan with a Herculean attempt to cook a full holiday meal for my house, as well as preparing a dish and purchasing a host/hostess gift for my family dinner.
To say that my new normal is a little stressful is likely an understatement. Do not get me wrong, holidays with children are quite magical, and I truly enjoy my family. However, I never appreciated the effort required to execute holiday magic until I morphed into a mom. This year, I am attempting to implement some new tools to — hopefully — alleviate some of the anxiety of the holiday season.
Start early. This year, I am starting everything early. I ordered holiday-themed attire in September. In October, I researched the hottest toy craves, and I’m planning my menus in early November. I realized that a lot of my holiday anxiety started by feeling the pressure of the limited time in the holiday season.
Take a few additional days during the holidays for rest and relaxation. At the end of the last holiday season, I felt depleted. I did not take any extra time off because my employer is pretty generous during the holidays. So, one thing I did not do was take time off work for rest. Not for prep or entertaining family — to rest. Rest is an essential function of alleviating holiday anxiety.
Give yourself grace. I use this piece of advice over and over again in parent blogging. So what, you burned the Thanksgiving rolls. Newsflash, everyone will live. You are not a robot or a machine. No amount of planning or preparation will accommodate human error. Things will not be perfect, and that is okay. It is okay for something to go wrong.
Have fun. Remember the point of the holidays is spending time with family and friends. During all the planning and straining, make sure you have fun with your family. The most important holiday tradition for your children is that they enjoy the holidays.
Plan to give back. I found that even though my daughter is still very young, giving back creates a sense of gratitude for me. It reminds me of the true meaning of the holidays.
The holidays are stressful. Just remember, the true value of the holidays lies in the time spent with people we love. This holiday season, join me in my attempt to worry less about the details and spend more time enjoying every moment.
Carlissa Shaw is a local attorney and mother of one daughter, age 2.