Hope springs eternal, as the cliche insists. But that little nostrum doesn’t really do much more than a pat on the head. I have found, however, that explaining the idea of hope isn’t all that easy. If your grandchild wants mango ice cream, that’s tangible. If you tell her, “I hope you get some,” it’s likely to cause nothing but confusion. And, probably, pouting.
So how to explain the concept of hope?
One can look around and see what humanity’s great thinkers have to say about it. Hope is, after all, something that is practiced in all cultures throughout history, so there’s plenty to mull over. Now when I say “great thinkers,” I find that a variety of people have had thoughts, from Calvin Coolidge to W.C. Fields to Pliny the Elder.
But there are plenty more, some more hopeful than others. And they can be excellent teaching tools when a grandchild or two begins pondering the imponderables.
First, let’s start with the lousiest, courtesy of Friedrich Nietzsche, who said, “Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.”
That pretty much tells you more about him than it does about hope, but it’s useful to see where the extreme view resides. At least it’ll be of interest to the youngster who is questioning world events where those torments gain high visibility. Of course at a certain point, those torments may only be contained to high school sports, but be prepared for a conversation of evils, no matter what.
In a more optimistic vein, we can find inspiration from the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
Now that’s a good setup for when your grandchild runs into an upset, which may be large or small and will occur at all ages. But what a sublime statement and opportunity to teach a lesson, whether it’s the mango ice cream falling on the sidewalk, or failing to make the team. This, too, shall pass.
Sometimes, you can find that the idea of hope is joyous, even giddy. Here’s how Emily Dickinson put it: “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul — and sings the tunes without the words — and never stops at all.”
In this case, it really does spring eternal, and poetically so. It’s the kind of hopefulness that is rooted in positivity, not desperation. It may not be entirely rational, but then it describes hope, so it doesn’t have to be. It connects more to the heart, and that is a tune that young people of any age can sing.
And when it comes to youngsters, there are encouraging words from Magic Johnson, who said, “All kids need is a little help, a little hope and somebody who believes in them.”
Since we serve as examples for our grandchildren, that’s a pretty solid approach. We don’t need to give them everything all at once, but steady, small doses of Magic’s formula will go a long way.
There is much to admire in Vaclav Havel’s attitude. He said, “Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”
That takes the conversation deeper, and thoughtful older children will find the statement intriguing. It reflects life’s realities and provides a grounding of expectations. It’s a statement that can spur wonderful discussions with the perceptive child.
Some of the commentators link hope to other qualities, such as courage. It was Napoleon Bonaparte who said, “Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.” I can imagine him shouting that to his troops as he rode into battle, which is fine for a movie. But there’s a lot more to discover in this statement by Michelle Obama: “You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world’s problems at once but don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.”
Now that works on a lot of levels. It’s grand and encompassing, but also applies to the everyday. It’s a thoughtful approach to both courage and hope and what a splendid conversation you’ll have with those grandkids.
And if the youngsters in your life are itching to do something and take the effort beyond hope, you can’t do better than this sentiment from Greta Thunberg: “Once we start to act, hope is everywhere. So instead of looking for hope, look for action. Then, and only then, hope will come.”