You’re going to need some things for back-to-school season. Not the children — they have parents to take care of that. It’s the grandparents that will have certain needs, along with open minds, and maybe an adjustment in attitude. As my sixth-grade English teacher would say as she glared at us: “A word to the wise.”
Much will depend on what your duties will be as a devoted grand. If you’re dropping off and/or picking up, do make an effort to follow everything from instructions to traffic flow.
When delivering, make sure you have checked ahead of time that everything is accounted for. Does the backpack have the day’s assignments? Have permissions been signed? Is there a lunch in there? Get rid of contraband. Add a note with a snack that says you love them. Remind them to say please and thank you. And do not make your poor grandchild carry a big container of homemade treats to class unless you enjoy being called on by the staff to review school policies that forbid homemade treats.
When picking up, you may need a number or code, and it may need to be displayed on your vehicle so school staff can see it from afar and have your child ready to jump in your car. Let the kiddo buckle in and then go — don’t chit-chat with the child wrangler about the weather or TCAP scores or sports. Parents in SUVs are waiting!
In the days before classes start, you might be presented with a list of things to get. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If “Chromebook” is on it, don’t unilaterally decide to substitute No. 2 pencils instead, because if they were good enough for you, they should be good enough for your descendants. It doesn’t work that way.
Lists are specific for a reason, so beware of your tendency (and you know you have it) to declare that the item that you can easily find “is just as good as” the one that is harder to locate. You’re just reacting to your own school days when you had to write out an answer to some question on a test and the teacher said, “be specific.” Remember the grade you got when you scrawled,
“Cos I wanted to!”
Do not buy clothing for your little ones that’s two sizes too big so they can grow into it. Neither your grandchildren nor your children will appreciate the efficiency. Also, everything is more expensive now, and that’s just a fact of life. Get over it, gramps.
If asked to help with homework, be useful but don’t let your years of accumulated wisdom get in the way. Those great stories of yours from the 1960s may not really be all that fascinating. Or appropriate. And if you know nothing about the subject, find someone who does. As I was losing my battle with Common Core math concepts (first-grade level), I tried a mid-20th century solution and was advised by my six-year-old tutee that “We don’t carry the 1.” Lesson learned.
All this said, there are rewards that grandparents are particularly in a position to enjoy. Grands will happily sit and listen to every single thing that happened at school that day. And you can nudge the reluctant ones who, when asked about the day’s events will say “nuthin,” by pressing the issue. You are one of a select few who are genuinely interested and are willing to hear what your grandkids have to say.
In addition, you won’t minimize the worries and anxieties they have. You’ve been there and you’ve got perspective and a willing ear. And also cookies.