Images provided by National Civil Rights Museum
Have you ever heard of the African term Ubuntu? It means “I am what I am because of who we all are.”
According to South African Nobel Laureate Archbishop Desmond Tutu, it describes the essence of being human and how we all are interconnected in this global community. In other words, you can’t be human all by yourself, what you do (and say) affects the whole world.
So the question is, how do we help our children befriend the world? As the old proverb goes, it takes a village to raise a child and it becomes every individual’s responsibility to create a safe and healthy environment, planting the seeds of compassion and love.
As the nation commemorates the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s death, his legacy still lives on and reminds us of King’s words, "Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children."
Angie & Ike Photography
Opening the topic for discussion – how and when
Last October, Sandra Brown Turner, director of Barbara K. Lipman Early Childhood School and Research Institute at the University of Memphis, conducted a workshop at the Collierville Burch Library on the topic, “How to talk with your children about race?” During the workshop, she shared practical ideas on how parents have the opportunity to help define the concepts of fairness, social justice, and cooperation to children.
“It is important to understand how children perceive their worlds,” notes Turner. “We do not bring the subject up in a forced manner. We listen to them, their conversations, their questions, and respond to them at their developmental level.”
Social cruelty is out in the open — teasing/name-calling, exclusion/rejection/scapegoating, bullying, and hazing. In Give Your Child the World, Jamie Martin talks about paying attention to the news, but not too much attention. When parents come to a strong foundation of what they want their family to value, then it becomes relatively easier to discuss such issues and help children understand the world they live in.
“Children should get information from reliable sources — parents and guardians fall into that category,” points out Terri Lee Freeman, president of the National Civil Rights Museum. “We used to teach ‘sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.’ Well, that’s simply not true. Words can cut like a knife. And with the access that young people have to social media, our words and their words are that much more important.”
Freeman was one of the guest speakers at the recent TEDx Memphis conference held at the Halloran Centre. In her speech on the topic “Apologetically Human,” she stressed the point of how communication is fundamental.
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At Home & School – Giving children the tools to embrace the world
In Best Friends, Worst Enemies – Understanding the Social Lives of Children, Michael Thompson points out that a secure attachment is the first friendship and, among other things, a securely attached child can trust or believe that we hold him/her in mind.
“Attachment is part of how the child learns whether or not the world can be trusted — parents, caregivers, family members,” observes Turner. “A child who sees adults demonstrating friendship and caring will know that having a friend is an exchange of the heart and mind.”
Be it school or community, exclusion still remains the number one problem. It makes it hard to witness the traits of empathy and kindness — “Everyone is welcome here” and “You can’t say you can’t play.”
Turner makes a valid point. One of the most important words for an adult to say to a child is, “Look!” That implies putting our phones, iPads, and other screens away and paying attention ourselves to what there is to see, hear, taste, smell, and feel. As the child’s observation skills develop, the best question for an adult to ask a child is, “What were you thinking about when you asked that question?” When you make such authentic conversation, you are speaking with children.
For instance, when a child overhears a racist comment and relates the incident to you, pay close attention to the information being shared and listen for their take on it. After hearing the whole story, change the script for them, if necessary, and show them what is right. You could say, “In this family, we work toward loving everyone,” Turner emphasizes.
Angie & Ike Photography
Community’s role in encouraging good citizenship
The National Civil Rights Museum just celebrated King Day, drawing around 7,000 visitors from around the country to be part of the event.
“Museums represent truth,” remarks Freeman. “I think museums are safe spaces for children and adults to learn and be comfortable asking questions that they may not be able to get answered from their parents or friends.”
She adds, “While museums like ours have a specific mission to pass on history that is focused on treating all people with dignity and recognizing the diversity of our world, even museums that don’t specifically focus on history share a cultural component and teach diversity inclusion by having diverse people represented in their exhibits.”
Turner talks about the importance of participating in consciousness-raising events where children come to understand what it means to be a human within the context of other human beings.
The Lipman School observes annual Peace Day in October as a way to counteract fearful events such as 9/11 and begin a lifelong conversation about making peace. Last year the school had 14 countries represented at their Multicultural ‘Peace-Nic’ Lunch. Other highlights of the celebration included “Wings of Grace” Peace Dove Release and a performance and a sing-along with Dr. Thomas Moore, an early childhood consultant and children’s recording artist based in Charlotte, North Carolina.
“Tolerance only brings us so far together,” concludes Turner. “Acceptance means we offer our own talents and gifts of the heart and mind and ask others to do the same so that we all are better for the outcomes.”
Ideas for Welcoming the World into your Home
- Take advantage of family-fun outings that celebrate culture and history.
- Globe-Trotting Family Day @ Dixon Gallery and Gardens takes place on Saturday, February 17, from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. Free. 761-5250.
- Celebrate Black History Month through Dance @ GPAC takes place on Tuesday, February 20, at 7 p.m. Free. Reservations required. 751-7500.
- Discuss world events together during dinnertime. Look into kid-friendly news sites like Youngzine and DOGOnews for topics.
- Learn a foreign language as a family. Check out Mango Language Learning, available through Memphis Public Library and Germantown Community Library.
- Explore different cuisines through cooking and baking food from another country. Try international gourmet recipes from the Kids Cooking Activities website.