Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash
Though helping your toddler transition from diapers to underwear can feel like a daunting task, it can in fact be an empowering experience that encourages confidence and independence.
Toilet learning begins long before switching to underwear. By 18 months, children are typically able to control bowel and bladder movements. However, rather than comparing your child to others, or going by age, look for signs of readiness such as an interest in the bathroom or frequent dry diapers at changing time.
Begin the process by changing diapers in the bathroom, to establish it as the place where toileting occurs. Have your child practice pulling down pants, sitting, eliminating (or not), wiping, pulling up pants, flushing, and washing hands. Have boys sit to start (and remind them to scoot back and push their penis down).
Once you introduce underwear, use it all the time except naptime and nighttime (it takes longer to learn how to control the bladder while sleeping). Refer to these as "sleeping diapers" so that your child understands they are only for sleeping. Going back and forth between underwear and diapers or pull-ups is confusing. After 30 consecutive days of waking up from naptime dry, start to ditch the diaper, and later (sometimes much later), the nighttime diaper.
Accidents will happen. When children wear cotton underwear, they being to feel the sensation of being wet. Through accidents, they can start making connections between the sensation of needing to urinate and feeling wet. Be patient; this takes time and practice. React calmly and never use guilt or shame. And, let your child help as much as possible — allow them to wipe and go behind them, sanitizing as needed. Encourage them to place soiled clothing in the laundry and choose dry underwear and pants.
Toddlers don't have the time or fine-motor coordination to manage belts, buckles, buttons, and snaps, so set your child up for success with elastic-waist pants that are easy to put on and take off independently; avoid overalls and onesies.
At the beginning of toilet learning, remind your child every 30 minutes. As this proves successful — they are dry and can successfully urinate in the toilet — lengthen the time, but never go more than 2 hours without a reminder. Always tell your child it's time to use the toilet rather than asking (ask a toddler just about anything, and the answer will be “no”). Options work. Say, "It's time to use the toilet,” or “Do you prefer the toilet or the potty seat?”
Establish a consistent schedule so you're not interrupting your child in the middle of a fun activity. Try toileting when you wake up in the morning, before getting into the car, before lunch, before nap, just after nap, etc. If you use the toilet too during these times, you show your child there's a consistent schedule for everyone. Create visual schedules for daily activities and include photos or drawings of children on the toilet. Before outings, say, "We can go to the park after you sit on the toilet,” or "Can you do it by yourself or do I need to help your body?" There's no reason why you can't cash in on your child's burgeoning independence.
Rewards and punishments often hinder toileting progress. Offering a reward sets a precedent and teaches your child that learning to use the toilet is merely for a reward instead of fostering an intrinsic desire to master toileting.
Good luck and happy toileting!
Adapted from an article by Mary Broeckling, published Fall 2019 in Montessori Life. © 2020 American Montessori Society. Used with permission.