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It’s 3 a.m. I just rocked my 2-year-old back to sleep after hearing cries and yells for mama. In those moments, I try to remind myself she will only call out for me so long and be this little once. In the morning she will rub her eyes, forget all about what happened the night before, and together we will conquer our long to-do lists (hers consisting of playing, eating, pooping, more playing ... you get the picture).
I’ve learned over the past two years that the job description of a mom comes with about a million and one to-dos and doesn’t come with a how-to manual. When I first became a mom, I felt an intense pressure to present myself as “put-together” and prove to the world I could do it all; all the while suffering from severe cystic hormonal acne, working on little-to-no sleep, adjusting to a completely new lifestyle, and feeling guilt that I wasn’t doing enough as a stay-at-home mom (although doesn’t it seem unfair we don’t get paid as moms, considering it’s the most challenging and demanding job I’ve ever taken).
Mommy Struggles
My lifetime battle with anxiety didn’t help the situation, and I soon realized I was falling backwards down a rabbit hole. Similar feelings were felt when my husband and I were trying to get pregnant and failing. During that journey, I learned that what the fertility doctors, medications, and “unexplained infertility diagnosis” (yes, that’s a true medical term) couldn’t teach me was what I needed most — to relax. Easier said than done, right? This required some lifestyle changes to reduce stress, find balance, live happier, and nourish my body. All of which I took part in prior to falling pregnant naturally, after trying for just short of two years.
Fast-forward to becoming a new mom and figuring out my own mommy manual with the help of Google, advice (some solicited, some not), and my intuition. I now had a reliant and beautiful living human that required so much from me, and my number one goal became to provide her with the best and healthiest environment, nutrition, and care I could. While that is still a priority, I learned over time that I am a better mommy and wife when my own wants and needs are met. It is neither selfish nor a luxury, but rather a necessity, to indulge in some self-care.
My health and wellness journey pre/post pregnancy, an urge I had to help my own family live happy and healthier lives, and a yearning to help other moms do the same, further peaked an interest and a longing I had wanted to pursue for a long time.
In the midst of moving to Memphis with a 6-month-old baby in tow, I set out on a journey that would change my life forever and completed a certification to become a lifestyle and wellness coach. The biggest lesson I learned through this experience is that wellness is not just about what you put on your plate, but it involves every aspect of your life.
Form a Wellness Tribe
A big way to help with your personal wellness is through connecting with others. Isn’t it nice when you can let your hair down and just be yourself? When you can share your personal passion, struggles, or vision for the future, and have someone to turn to with questions, someone who actually “gets” you on a deeper level? That’s what a wellness tribe is all about!
A wellness tribe is a group of people who share a common interest in wellness, who get together to exchange ideas and provide mutual support, and who gain inspiration from collective empowerment.
The concept of tribes is ingrained in human history, and was used to refer to groups of people who shared land and followed certain ways of life for many generations. But in modern times, we can choose our tribes as a form of social nourishment.
If you’ve ever felt alone in your efforts to change your diet or lifestyle or transition your career in a more positive direction, then a wellness tribe is definitely for you. It can help you feel more connected, inspired, and motivated to maintain your wellness habits and experiment with new ones. Besides, it’s fun to discuss creative new yoga trends and the most affordable super food with others who will get as excited about it as you do!
So what can you do to create a wellness tribe if you don’t have one?
Attend a meetup.
Meetup.com is a great resource for local gatherings centered around nearly any topic you can imagine, including wellness or even specific areas of wellness, such as nutrition, fitness, mental health, certain conditions, energy healing, you name it! See what you can find in your area and attend a few meetups to connect with wellness-loving people in your area.
Organize a gathering.
If you have a few friends or acquaintances who are also interested in wellness, schedule a get-together at your place, or meet for lunch at a healthy cafe once a month. You can share your latest personal wellness practices, favorite recipes, books, challenges, or tips. Keep it regular so you stay connected, and use social media to share virtually between gatherings.
Become a regular at a local wellness hub.
Whether it’s a yoga studio, a cafe, or a meditation center, chances are that there’s someplace in your area where wellness-loving people are already coming together, so go there and check it out. A real tribe is one you come in contact with regularly, so once you find a place you like, make it a part of your schedule to attend. You’re likely to meet new people and keep the connection alive even outside that particular hub.
Tips for a Successful Wellness Tribe
Wellness tribes that connect in person will have a stronger bond, but digital tribes can be great, too. Find a virtual wellness program that has a community element so you can interact with others regularly, or find forums or Facebook groups focused on topics that interest you.
Consistency is key when it comes to tribes. You won’t get the deeper feeling of connection if you jump around from one group to another, so find one you like and stick with it or start your own.
As a new mom, it is easy to lose a sense of yourself and your old identity, but that is not your destiny. You have the power and the ability to be the woman you desire. Whatever stage of motherhood you are in, don’t ever be afraid to ask for help, listen to your inner voice, and go after what you want.
Jamie (jamiesarah.com) is the wife to a native Memphian, mom to a beautiful 2-year-old daughter, and has a baby on the way.