I became a mom in July 2018, and since then, I have thought a lot about my interaction with moms in the past. Was I a jerk? Did I judge them thinking I could do a better job? Being a mom is hard, y’all.
Being a parent means you worry about someone else every second of every day. If there was something I could say to a new mom now, I would say it’s OK to not feel good at it. If you really think about it, you are expected to just know everything about this little person right after meeting them. You are supposed to know what they like and what they don’t like; how to make them happy and not make them mad; how to comfort them when they are upset but also how to teach them to comfort themselves.
All of this is funny because the moment you become a parent you suddenly realize you are no longer in control of anything anyway, so it can make you feel really lost. If you keep at it though, you will start to realize this stranger is someone you actually know after all. The feeling is familiar, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.
Don’t give up because soon you will feel more confident. Soon, you will know exactly what to do for certain cries, when to move faster, and when you can take it slow. I’m starting to realize that no one has the perfect answer for our kids, but the closest one is us. We are the perfect parents for our children, and we are all doing the best we can. So if you are feeling as though you’re not good at this whole parenting thing, hold your head up and keep going. Cut yourself some slack and take a deep breath. We are basically all winging it anyway.
Bethany Paulus is a new mom, wife, and RN living in Memphis.
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