Dreamstime
Any parent of a colicky infant knows the drill. After 30 too-short minutes of blissful and quiet cooing, the baby’s happy little face distorts into a grimace and the crying begins. Mom mentally checks off the list of everything that she can do, despite knowing what’s to come — his diaper is clean, and he’s been fed, burped, and swaddled. She’s tried advice given to her by family members and healthcare providers, but nothing she does seems to work.
Now all that’s left is to hold him while he wails. She looks at her baby and wonders what he’s feeling and what she’s doing wrong. His arms and feet are scrunched tightly to his body and his stomach is bloated and gassy as he fights and screams inconsolably for hours on end. She fights back her own tears. Her frustration, like his, is palpable.
For parents, particularly first-timers, there are few things more intense and frustrating than caring for a baby with colic. Seen worldwide yet defying medical explanation, colic is, according to many health experts, a completely normal part of early infancy for some babies. Whether a product of temperament or diet, colic just happens. And whether your infant will be one of the approximate 20 to 25 percent of babies it happens to seems to be unpredictable and the (bad) luck of the draw.
Often beginning within the first weeks of life and peaking at six to eight weeks in 50 percent of cases, colic has been the focus of pediatric research for decades. In 1954, Morris Wessel, a pediatrician at Yale, published a paper in the journal Pediatrics noting “the Rule of Threes” in diagnosing a baby with colic. If a healthy infant cries for more than three hours a day, more than three days a week, and for longer than three weeks, the elusive “colic” diagnosis is often given, although treatment suggestions are highly likely to vary among practitioners. An infant that meets these criteria should always be seen by a pediatrician to rule out other potential medical problems, even if parents suspect it’s colic.
Despite its vague definition and treatment, one thing everyone can agree on, especially if they have seen or cared for a colicky baby, is that it’s a distressing time. According to Regina Goulder, family nurse practitioner at Methodist Medical Group in Atoka, Tennessee, sometimes knowing it will be over soon doesn’t always fix the emotional toil colic takes on parents and caregivers. “Having a colicky baby often leads the parent to feel frustrated and even lonely,” says Goulder. “Mothers, and new mothers especially, sometimes feel that they should be the ones to soothe their baby, so I always let them know it is okay to take breaks for themselves.”
Beyond the inconsolable wailing, “Sleep deprivation is a huge issue with a colicky baby, which we know leads to more anxiety and frustration,” says Goulder. She encourages any parent dealing with the enormous stress of a colicky infant to take "time outs" for themselves and to call on family members or friends to help. “Go on a date, get a pedicure, spend some time outdoors, or just lie on the couch … it will keep their mind better prepared for being a better parent to their colicky baby if they can rejuvenate themselves every now and then.”
Goulder also recommends finding others dealing with the same struggle to exchange coping strategies. “I always recommend joining support groups online to see what other parents are doing. Encouragement from other parents will ease the mind, as well.”
A Middle Tennessee native, Tonya Thompson (deltacreatives.com) now lives in Southaven, MS, with her three kids and their crazy pets.