Illustration by Derrick Dent
If there is one thing more difficult than coming to terms with grief after the loss of a friend or loved one, it’s helping young people do the same. And in a culture that sees increasing violence toward and among its youth, it’s a difficulty that a growing number of parents and caregivers across the Mid-South area continue to face.
“We do a horrible job talking about grief in our culture,” says Mark Smith, camp director of Camp BraveHearts, a grief day camp in Memphis sponsored by Methodist Healthcare’s hospice department. “We have a ‘get over it’ mindset,” says Smith. “How can you get over a loss? You can’t — you get through it, one step at a time.” This same message is reiterated throughout Camp BraveHearts’ three-day sessions focused on helping children ages 6-16, along with their parents or caregivers, to cope with the death of a family member or friend.
“We have a culture that seems to view emotion as a weakness to be stifled, especially among men,” Smith says. “We have family members who say, ‘I have to be strong for another family member.’ So, when we feel the emotional pain of grief, we try to extinguish it as soon as possible. The problem is that if we don’t deal with grief, it will deal with us. It’s like a coke bottle shaken one million times — the pressure builds and builds and eventually it will come out.”
At Camp BraveHearts, Smith, along with a team of volunteers and trained professionals, work to create a safe place where feelings of grief can be expressed without having to worry about the reactions of others. “Sometimes by talking about it, it will give another person the permission they need to grieve and show them that reaching out for help is true strength,” says Smith. “So, talk about it — to a family member, friend, pastor, counselor. Talk about it!”
Among these lessons of expression of grief for Camp BraveHearts’ participants, there are activities focused on helping children heal from the emotional pain grief brings. “Camp Bravehearts teaches children how to acknowledge and express their grief in positive ways,” Smith says. “We do this through fun activities, such as climbing walls, water activities (swimming pool and lake activities) and art projects. We do this in thoughtful activities such as sharing stories and journaling. We have activities that honor the memory of the loved one while working toward healing. At the end of camp, we close by inviting campers and families to a special memorial service.”
Camp BraveHearts will take place July 18-20, at For the Kingdom, 4100 Raleigh-Millington Rd. Funded by contributions from the community so that campers can attend at no charge to their family, the camp also provides free lunch and snacks on all three days. For more information or to register, call 901-818-2105 and ask to speak with a Camp BraveHearts intake person or email Leticia.Blundon@mlh.org. For information on sponsoring a child to attend Camp BraveHearts, call 901-516-0996.
Baptist Memorial Health Care Foundation also offers free grief counseling, by appointment, throughout the year and hosts Camp Good Grief and Teen Camp Good Grief annually. For more information, call 901-861-5656.
A Middle Tennessee native, Tonya Thompson (deltacreatives.com) now lives in Southaven, MS with her three kids and their crazy pets.