We have two dogs: Chalupa and Freckles. Chalupa is a 60-pound linebacker. Her tail is so dangerous that she’ll knock you down and then show you how much she loves you with her merciless dog kisses. She’s the sweetest, most loving creature you could ask for in a pet.
Freckles, on the other hand, welcomed to the Hulett family in the summer of 2019, can be an absolute nightmare. Okay, nightmare is a little harsh. Truly, though, she does the things you don’t want your pet to do. She scratches, bites, claws, chews, digs, and barks — a lot. Did I mention she jumps? Freckles jumps in the bath with my daughters. She also climbs in the tub after my wife showers to lick the remnants of water.
At any given time in our household, you can most likely hear someone shout: “FRECKLES!”
Before I go any further, let me rewind a bit. Chalupa is 6 years old and is essentially a piece of furniture. She doesn’t cause problems, and I guess that makes her uninteresting and boring. Well, at least that’s what my daughters Ella and Beatrice would say. We got “Lupa” when Ella was barely 2. We thought she’d be small, but we were wrong.
Anyway, when my wife graduated from her rigorous Montessori education training a couple of summers ago, we started hearing the persistent refrain, “Can we get a puppy”? Unbeknownst to me, my wife Annie had been feeding my kids some important fuel by saying, “Once I’m done with my training, we can talk about getting a puppy.”
In parent speak, “talk about” means we will do said thing.
You see, I’m a dog person, so like any master manipulator would do, all three girls started talking about getting a cat. I do not like cats. Sorry to be so blunt, but cats are terrible. They give zero cares about 99 percent of what their owners do for them. Outdoor cats are okay, but I’d rather have a duck or a pig than some cat that does their business in a box sequestered in a closet. That smell, the maintenance … no thanks! Not to mention they might bring you a dead rat for good measure.
I knew I was in trouble when I told them there was no way we were getting a cat. So the search for a dog began in earnest. We researched online and watched for special announcements. There were several candidates that rose to the top of our list, but none panned out. When Freckles came up for adoption, my girls had to have her. They made sure to be the first to line up at Memphis Animal Services the day she became available. There were others who wanted Freckles. Those folks may have dodged a bullet.
Freckles is energetic and boisterous. She immediately asserted herself as the puppy in charge. After two days, she was sleeping in our bed, eating Chalupa’s food, chewing up the fence and every other piece of wood in our backyard, and escaping out the front door every chance she could get.
Recently, I had a work event I was supposed to attend. Something nice and special I could take Annie to. We got a babysitter, and I took the dogs to the dog park to wear them out before we were set to head out. The second the babysitter arrived, Freckles made a run for it and managed to dodge us for an hour before we were able to corral her and bring her home.
We missed my work event. Annie and I ended up going to dinner, and the whole conversation was centered on how much stress Freckles caused and the disdain I had for this new addition to the family. I’m pretty sure I said things like, “I never wanted a new dog.” “She’s the worst dog ever.” “I can’t live like this.”
After recovering from this particular incident, I had to make a decision. I could either be miserable or I could change my tune and show Freckles the ropes. Who knows, maybe I can get the kids to help, too.
Six months in, Freckles is still lively and a bit of a wildcard, but she listens better and is learning to come when called. I have a feeling Freckles could be on a lifelong learning curve, but at least she is trying now. That’s all I can ask, really. I’ll keep you posted on her progress.
Jeff Hulett is a freelance writer, musician, and PR consultant in Memphis. He lives in the Vollintine Evergreen neighborhood with his wife Annie, two girls Ella and Beatrice, and two dogs Chalupa and Princess Freckles.