As the new editor of Memphis Parent, I feel a little nostalgic. After moving to midtown in 1999, I wasn’t expecting to stay past grad school at the University of Memphis. Four years later, I was setting up my first 7th-grade classroom at Raleigh-Egypt Middle School and learning firsthand about the grit and community that makes this city so special.
When thinking about how I’d like to introduce myself, I looked at the articles I’ve contributed to Memphis Parent and the Memphis Flyer over the years, and they made me smile. From op-eds about ineffective school board policies to articles about colicky babies and co-parenting after divorce, it’s an amusing summary of my experiences here and the past 16 years I’ve been lucky enough to be called “mom”.
Those experiences haven’t all been easy. Some were downright terrifying. And every single day, I question if I’m a good parent and if I’m raising decent human beings who have integrity and love in their hearts to do the right thing and lift up others around them.
Just last week, I picked up my oldest from school and he asked if we could chat for a minute in the car, so we did. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “Mom, the world’s a really dark place, isn’t it?” I think I laughed a little and said “indeed,” because I couldn’t really think of anything else to say.
It made me remember holding him and his sisters when they were babies, revved up on the overprotective mama bear hormones, and thinking anxiously about the things they would experience in life. I worried then as I worry now and fall short on answers for these heavy things.
When I got back home, I remembered a quote from Rumi, one of my favorite poets, and shared it immediately with him on Instagram. “If everything around you seems dark, look again. You may be the light.”
A few moments later, my nearly grown son – the one who gave me first-hand knowledge of colicky babies – made me the proudest parent on the planet when he responded, “Positivity and hope is the key to staying sane.”
Our city has faced some dark times this year. There have been moments while grieving that made us question our roles as parents and what our children’s futures might look like, both as Memphians and as citizens of a world that’s quickly changing.
I know that the same grit that made me fall in love with this city in my 20s will continue to strengthen our community through difficult times and help us find ways to work together to rise above it. My son was right, when everything seems dark, hope keeps us sane.
I am grateful to you, readers, who help carry the traditions and spirit that make this city shine. Memphis Parent is one such tradition. For over 30 years, it has given parents like me useful articles, along with local resources and events to help me stay sane in the hardest job there is – parenting.
It truly takes a tribe to raise our children and provide the best life has to offer them. With that in mind, I’d love your feedback on how to make this publication stronger. Also, if you are aware of individuals, groups, or organizations that are actively working to build hope and strength in the Memphis community, please email me at tonya@memphisparent.com. Thanks for reading!